Further on God's purpose in our lives

In this remembering all the ways the LORD has wooed my heart and moreover, protected my life I've also thought of the ways I have chosen my  own will and desires at the expense of His glory and truth.

I can not say for me I ever accidently sinned, or didn't know what I was doing when I sinned.  I cannot use the reason for my sin that I was sinned against and lead into a course of actions as a result of being abused.

I had active teaching on what is righteous and holy before the LORD and made choices contrary to that grounding I had been given.

As I began a period of repentance in my earlier walk with the LORD, I remained trapped by my guilt.  A  man, Dr. Reyneke ministered one night on this very subject and that teaching has been a blessing to me again and again.

Dr. Reyneke taught that we struggle to forgive ourselves for the sins we commit because we believed we were too good to do those sins.  In this,  we place our own goodness above God's power to cleanse and forgive.  

We act on an incorrect self perception that we hold the power to become good in ourselves and so we then begin to try and prove to God we are good enough. The result being that we feel we cannot go to God until we've proven to him we have really repented and are worthy of his forgiveness.  Trying to do enough 'good' to wipe out our sin.  It's a form of saying to the LORD,   "Your death on the cross wasn't good enough to cleanse me.  I need to do something more to be freed from my sin."  I believe this is a terrible  trap of the devil.  

When I realized my guilt trips after asking God's forgiveness was diminishing God's gift of cleansing and forgiveness I was freed from the task of trying to clean up my life enough for his forgiveness to be given.

Yes, repentance for my sin is needful when I call upon the LORD to forgive me.  But, if I had not repented I would not have sought his forgiveness in the first place. Then I need to thank him for his forgiveness and seek him and his ways and rest in his gift of forgivness.  There is  no value in trying to  'be good enough to earn a hearing of him'.