I'm singing this as I type:
Our Father which art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy name,
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread
And forgive us our debts, (sins) as we forgive our debtors
(those who have sinned against us)
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory,
v. 14-15 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, (again, sin) neither will your Father forgive your transpasses. (sins)
Forgiveness is an interesting thing. It is a gift from God to free us from our own personal damaging emotions.
Unforgiveness ties us to the sin of the one who hurt us. I know there is no actual scripture that says that but I personally feel it is implied.
We feel that forgiveness is saying to the person who hurt us, I accept what you have done to me was not really bad. Or, or even, it's ok, no big deal. Or even, you didn't sin against me. I just judged you wrong.
But, in fact all our forgiveness is doing is undoing the hold of our anger and hatred and bitterness over our life. We are leaving their actions in the hands of God, to judge or bring correction. And we are opening the doors in our own lives for God to forgive us our own sins and establish correction.
In an ongoing relationship that forgiveness can lead to reconciliation and cleansing between the two involved.
But, in any event, forgiveness for the believer, is breaking the hold another has over your life. God will deal with wrong in all our lives and we need to trust Him to do this, and that effectively, as we could never do.
Yes, we have to live with the hurt and work through that with the LORD. Part of that work is reminding ourselves of what God says we have in Him. His love, his grace, his healing and his freedom from victim-hood.
Also, there are facts in our own life we may need to deal with. Our hard heart, our selfishness, our demand that what I want I get and what you want is BAD. Or there could be a lack of attention to the needs of our partner. I have found this bottom line to be true, to often in my own life 'fights'.
Yes, it can very much be the partner's unfaithfulness is just selfishness or sin. It could be the one involved doesn't have any sin but the bottom line is still - only in forgiveness are you set free to fully live a life of freedom and worship in the LORD.
I don't think that forgiveness means you have to then enter into a renewed intimate relationship. That clearly is not for the best in some cases. But it means you can free them into God's hand to complete His work in their life.
|A tunnel, but it can end in the light|