Monday, November 28, 2011

To Life!

 We are enticed by our own desires - it looks so good, fun, satisfying.  It promises to make our lives richer and more fulfilled.  And the enemy of our soul says "yessssss, go for it my pretty".  Sometimes we know it is not for the good of others and will hurt them.  Sometimes we don't see  how this we do will hurt anyone. 

We often try to not yield, but the more we refuse ourselves the more enticing our desired 'thing' becomes - and our enemy says 'you will losssssssse out if you delay my pretty."

And we yield.  We act on this burning desire.  Only shockingly when we come too, after a time of wallowing we find - "hay, that wasn't all I thought it would be."  Instead of  concluding that it wasn't something to satisfy, we  hear that whisper that tells us the desire was unmet 'cuz we didn't go far enough.    We conclude that we  have to do more - take a bigger risk,  or act with greater or wilder abandon.  Kick it up a notch.  And so we do, only to find the entrapment is that it only satisfies at the point of action - never longer.  The minute that thing is done, the craving returns, only stronger.  It seems our lusts are an unrelenting merry-go-round.  There is truly NO lasting  satisfaction.

Maybe if I live within the very desire - selling all the rest of my life to buy that high - that is the next whispered suggestion.  But along with it, at every step I find I cannot get what my soul is desiring. And, moreover there comes  self loathing, and depression as we recognize that striving for this desire is destructive.  It  can even lead to lost of control. 

I have thought that this is the road with drugs and sexual things.  Today it occurred to me it can also be found in less obvious desires - like the desire to eat.  The desire for improvements in the home.  Seeking for meaning in  travel, music, beauty, acclaim from others, money. Things not in and of themselves evil - but can they become evil when it is becoming the coin of the realm of ones own life?  The thing that drives us?

How do we recognize what is a temptation or lust?  For me it's that pounding in my heart -That drive that says " I've  got to do it/have it  NOW." 

I have found that the temptation we feel  we cannot resist, when we seriously resist, will end.  It seems that it is  exactly when it seems the hardest is the point where victory is found if we choose to not yield.  The enemy of our souls tries to make us believe it will be an unbearable lose, but his words are the lie. 

Christ doesn't seek to spoil our lives with Spartan rules or being a spoil sport.  He knows the truth of life and I'm finding it's in Him alone there is peace and joy and contentment.

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